The Power of "Yes": How Mindful Choices Shape Your Life
Mindset coach Phil Jessé reveals how mindful choices can transform your life. He explores the power of everyday decisions and offers actionable strategies to help you live with greater intention and purpose.

Every decision we make, big or small, shapes the trajectory of our lives. It's easy to get caught up in the daily grind, reacting to situations rather than consciously choosing our path. But what if we could take a step back and approach each decision with intention and awareness? What if we truly understood the power of saying "yes"?
Hi, I'm Phil Jessé, also known as the "Pull-Up Guy." While I've achieved some pretty ambitious physical goals, like completing over 500,000 pull-ups, the real transformation has occurred in my mind. I've learned that mindset is the key to empowering ourselves to achieve far more than we believe possible, and it all starts with the choices we make.
This article isn't about right or wrong. It's about understanding that every "yes" carries a hidden "no." When we say "yes" to one opportunity, we're inherently saying "no" to something else – whether it's another opportunity, our time, our energy, or even our peace of mind.
The Ripple Effect of Our Choices
Think about it: 🤔
- ➡️ Saying "yes" to that extra project at work might mean saying "no" to quality time with your family.
- ➡️ Saying "yes" to scrolling through social media might mean saying "no" to pursuing a hobby you've always dreamed of.
- ➡️ Saying "yes" to a night out with friends might mean saying "no" to a good night's sleep, impacting your energy levels the next day.
These examples might seem obvious, but how often do we pause to consider the trade-offs involved in our everyday decisions? It's not about judgment; it's about awareness. When we become aware of these hidden "nos," we gain the power to make choices that truly align with our values and goals.
Mindfulness: The Key to Intentional Living
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It's about being fully engaged in what we're doing, rather than operating on autopilot. When we bring mindfulness to our decision-making process, we create space to consider the potential consequences of our choices.
Imagine you're invited to a social event. Instead of automatically saying "yes" or "no," you take a moment to check in with yourself.
- ➡️ How am I feeling right now? Am I energised and excited, or am I tired and craving some downtime?
- ➡️ What are my priorities for this week? Does this event align with my goals, or would my time be better spent elsewhere?
- ➡️ What are the potential benefits and drawbacks of attending? Will I genuinely enjoy myself, or am I simply going out of obligation?
By asking these questions, you're not overthinking; you're becoming more intentional. You're giving yourself the opportunity to make a choice that's aligned with your needs and desires.
Practical Tips for Making Mindful Choices
Here are a few strategies I've found helpful in my own journey:
- ⏸️ The Pause Button: Before reacting to a request or opportunity, take a moment to pause. Breathe deeply, and ask yourself, "What am I truly saying 'yes' to here? And what am I saying 'no' to?"
- ✅ The Value Check: Consider your core values. Does this opportunity align with what's most important to you? If not, it might be a good idea to reconsider.
- 🪫 The Energy Audit: Pay attention to your energy levels. Are you making decisions based on what you truly want, or are you simply going with the flow because you're too tired to think it through?
- 🔮 The Future Self: Imagine your future self looking back on this decision. Will they be grateful for the choice you made, or will they wish you had chosen differently?
These techniques, much like the training I do with endurance pull-ups, are about building a new kind of strength. It's not physical, but mental and emotional. It's the strength to choose consciously, to live with intention, and to create a life that truly reflects who we are and what we want to achieve.
Beyond Binary Choices: Embracing the Nuances
It's important to remember that life isn't always black and white. Sometimes, saying "yes" to something doesn't mean completely abandoning another option. It might simply mean adjusting our priorities or finding creative ways to balance different aspects of our lives.
For example, let's say you're passionate about both your career and your family. Saying "yes" to a demanding project doesn't necessarily mean neglecting your loved ones. It might involve:
- ➡️ Setting boundaries: Clearly communicating your availability to both your colleagues and your family.
- ➡️ Prioritising quality time: Making the most of the time you do have with your family, even if it's limited.
- ➡️ Seeking support: Asking for help from your partner, family members, or friends when needed.
It's about finding a way to make it work, rather than viewing it as an either/or situation. It's about acknowledging the complexities of life and finding creative solutions that allow us to pursue our goals without sacrificing what matters most.
The Power of "No": Setting Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life
While this article focuses on the power of "yes," it's equally important to recognise the power of "no." Saying "no" can be incredibly empowering. It allows us to:
- ⌚️🪫 Protect our time and energy: We only have so much to give. Saying "no" to things that drain us allows us to focus on what truly matters.
- ❤️ Set healthy boundaries: Boundaries are essential for maintaining our well-being. Saying "no" helps us define what we are and aren't willing to tolerate.
- 😊 Stay true to our values: Sometimes, the most aligned choice is to decline an opportunity, even if it's tempting.
Learning to say "no" gracefully is a skill that takes practice. It's about being assertive, respectful, and clear about our limits.
Using OKRs to Align Your Choices with Your Goals
As a mindset and performance coach, I often use the Objectives and Key Results (OKR) framework to help my clients achieve their goals. OKRs provide a structured way to set ambitious targets and track progress, and they can be a powerful tool for making mindful choices.
Here's how you can use OKRs to guide your decision-making:
- 1️⃣ Define Your Objectives: What are your most important goals for today, this week, this month, this quarter or year? Objectives are simply the goals you want to achieve - they should be significant, concrete, and inspirational.
- 2️⃣ Identify Key Results: How will you measure your progress towards those objectives?
- 3️⃣ Evaluate Opportunities: When faced with a decision, ask yourself, "Will this help me achieve my key results?"
By using OKRs, you create a clear roadmap for your life, or even just your day. You can then use this roadmap to evaluate opportunities and make choices that move you closer to your desired destination.
For example, if one of your key results this week is to improve your physical fitness, you'll be more likely to say "yes" to activities that support that goal, like going for a run or prepping healthy meals. On a daily level, if your objective is to have a productive morning, a key result might be to complete 3 important tasks by midday. That makes it easier to say "no" to hitting the snooze button or getting distracted by social media as soon as you wake up.
Embracing the Journey: It's About Progress, Not Perfection
Making mindful choices is a lifelong journey. There will be times when we make choices that we later regret. That's okay. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes and use them as opportunities for growth.
Remember, it's not about being perfect; it's about being intentional. It's about taking ownership of our lives and creating a future that aligns with our values and aspirations. It's about recognising that every "yes" is a powerful statement, a brushstroke on the canvas of our lives.
The next time you're faced with a decision, take a moment to pause and reflect. Consider the hidden "nos" behind every "yes." Ask yourself, "Is this choice aligned with my values, my goals, and the life I want to create?"
By making mindful choices, you empower yourself to live a life of intention, purpose, and fulfillment. You take control of your destiny and shape your future, one "yes" at a time. And that, my friends, is where true transformation begins. It's a journey I've been on, and it's one I'm passionate about sharing with you. Whether it's through my writing, my YouTube channel where I share insights into mindset and achieving goals, or my coaching, I'm here to help you unlock the power of your own mind. Let's master your mindset together, and create a life filled with purpose, passion, and remarkable results.
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